Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Danger! Warning! Caution!

Peril and danger surround us at every turn, lying in wait until that singular moment when we let our guard down and all heck breaks loose.

  • CRASH COURSE IN FEAR: Every year seatbelts cause more accidents than they prevent.

  • Rugby, the most popular sport outside America, is also the most dangerous. Over a dozen professional rugby players are injured each year. Some require medical attention.

  • WEDGIE ALERT: History may have forgotten the identity of the first human to jump from a bridge with bungee cords tied around the crotch and thigh areas, but some say that this adventurous personage deserves a prize.

  • Emergency Room doctors tell us that it is better to be slashed six times with a straight razor or surgeon's scalpel than once with a rusty old kitchen knife.

  • DEATH VALLEY: The Grand Canyon is the deadliest national park in America. Since the beginning of time, it is estimated that over 5,000 people have died from falls, dehydration, altitude sickness and even murder. Because there are no roads into the canyon, the bodies must be lifted out by a clever system of ropes and pulleys.

  • The only animals higher on the food chain that human beings are bears.

  • CRASH COURSE IN FUN: Demolition derby drivers move the engines of their cars to the trunk to protect them from side impacts. This was the inspiration for the original Volkswagon Beetle.

  • Municipalities are changing the cautionary signs on water trucks to say "Do Not Drink" in lieu of the antiquated "Non-Potable." It seems that only 28% of the thousands sickened by ingesting the water understood that "Non-Potable" meant "Poisonous."

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