Thursday, May 25, 2006

In Case You Haven't Heard...

  • A country mile is equal to 1.43 miles.

  • LOSERS WEEPERS: Biometric and physiognomic studies have shown that the facial expressions of losing sports teams are measurably different than those of the winning side.

  • The ancient Sumerians invented cuneiform writing, bronze armor, and an early precursor to toothpaste made from the chitinous exoskeletons of locusts crushed in mint leaves. The Sumerian Empire later fell due (in part) to venereal disease.

  • PLAY THE PERCENTAGES: 80% of serial killers list fishing as their number one hobby.

  • The average cat has 24 whiskers--14 on one side, and 10 on the other. Can you tell which side is which?

  • NOW THAT'S ADVANCED: Lou Reed once played an entire concert during his 1989 Ecstasy tour wearing nothing but his "trademark" leather jacket. Due to creative lighting and a rockin' backing band including long-time guitarist Reeves Gabrels, nobody in the crowd even noticed!

  • In Las Vegas, craps is the only game with more winners than losers.

  • CHECK IT OUT: The average cash register made after 1990 has more vacuum tubes than UNIVAC, the first personal computer.

  • Norman Bates was the name of Alfred Hitchcock's cousin. James Bond was Sir Ian Fleming's dentist. Twilight was Rod Serling's favorite time of day.

13 comments:

Jason Hartley said...

My wife would like to know if there are any techniques for couting the whiskers? Should the cat be placed in some sort of headlock, or perhaps placed stocks?

Jon Black and Britt Bergman said...

Thanks for your comment! Heidegger's Uncertainty Principal tells us there is no way to measure both the mass and the velocity of a particle simultaneously unless you immobilize or "kill" the particle itself. Luckily that's not true for cats, who are (as they say) mankind's second-best friends. Thanks again for your comment!

Jon Black and Britt Bergman said...

Thank you for your comment. You certainly know your cats! Not many people are familiar with the highly technical catting terms "couting" or "placed stocks", but you do! These are essential. I think we may have a final count of whiskers soon!
Thanks again for your comment!

Jason Hartley said...

My cat doesn't enjoy couting, so I've found that placed stocks are much better.

Ipso Facto said...

It's true that a country mile is 1.43 miles, but only "as the crow flies." "As the cow ambles," it's actually 1.87 miles.

Cows aren't as efficient or as smart as crows, but they taste better on Kaiser buns (frequently misattributed to Kaiser Wilhelm II, but was actually the discovery of his Prussian predecessor, Friedrich III.)

Jon Black and Britt Bergman said...

Thank you for your comment!

As a cat fanciers ourselves, we have found "placed stocks" to be "purrrrfect" for whisker viewing.
Thanks again.

Ipso Facto said...

Of course I meant to write "were actually the discovery of," not "was actually the discovery of."

Sorry, guys. Facts just get me a little too pumped up sometimes.

Jon Black and Britt Bergman said...

ipso facto-Thanks so much for your comments! A country mile certainly is a long way! I have a reel for fishing called 'cast a country mile'. It throws a very long distance!
Thanks again!

CK said...

You sure about the Lou Reed info? The album "Ectasy" came out in 2000 and he usually "names" the tour after a piece of work he releases. I can see him doing it semi-au naturel though.

Jon Black and Britt Bergman said...

ck-Thanks for the comment! Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground almost always name their tours "Walk on the Wild Side". Lou Reed is after all a "one hit wonder"-a true, albeit very little known fact!
Thanks again!

CK said...

OK boys, nice picture of Iggy Pop with Lou Reed titled undeerneath. You are setting Jason H's advancement back years.

walrus1960 said...

CHECK IT OUT: The average cash register made after 1990 has more vacuum tubes than UNIVAC, the first personal computer.

VLKF False Fact #134
BDR Real Fact:
Does it make any difference that no cash registers have EVER had vacuum tubes in them? Before or after 1990.
It does however have more computing power, but does not feature the absurd claim thet they had vaccuum tubes. If true, a cash register would have to be the size of a compact car. A little difficult to place on a checkout counter.

walrus1960 said...

And your photo of Lou Reed is actually Iggy Pop.