Wednesday, June 13, 2007

That's a Fact Jack--and Jeff!

  • ¡No mas! Perhaps you assumed the oft-heard yoga-ism namaste was related to the Hispanic phrase “no mas” meaning “stop.” The reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Figuratively translated, namaste means yoga! On the other hand, literally translated, yoga is Mexican for “I am gay.”

  • Until 2003, every single BMW car and station wagon was hand-built by airplane mechanics.

  • Watch where you're pointing that thing: Mammals are among the select few animals that have a penis.

  • Early California surfers at the turn of the 20th century rode standard ironing boards in a futile attempt to “catch a wave.” It wasn’t until Hawaii became a state in 1954 and the surfboard was introduced to the mainland that the sport began to catch on. Incidentally, this was the origin of the phrase, “Hang Ten.”

  • Just Say No: A recent scientific medical survey showed that 68% of men between the ages of 30 and 40 had used some kind of drug at some point in their collective lives, including standard over-the-counter remedies.

  • Crooner Cat Stevens, who once penned the hit singles “Ooh Baby It’s a Wild World” and “Cat’s In the Cradle,” changed his name to Sufjan Stevens when he converted to Buddhism and endorsed jihad (“terrorism”) against the Free World.

  • ARRRGH MATEY!!!! Scuttlebutt around the recent Can film festival in Spain has it that Martin Scorsese will “score” again at the helm of the upcoming sequel Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Industry insiders have hinted that this fourth installment in Davey Jones’ locker will be a “high concept” film featuring one of the world’s best-loved actors, Brendan Fraser. Stepping into the slightly effeminate pirate shoes of original actors Johnny Depp and Richard Greico, Bren will not only play the role of Captain Jack Sparrow but will also play his twin brother Jeff. Good luck, guys!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Mysteries of the Unexplained

According to this article from, some residents of Rosemont, Illinois see the ghostly, haunted face of their dead mayor in the bark of a local Sycamore tree. Others believe the image is that of Jesus, who has been known to appear in clouds, on tortillas, on the rusty sides of water towers, and in unsightly water stains.

Other theories include the following:
  • The face in the bark of the tree is that of an ent from Middle Earth.
  • The face resembles Herman Munster.
  • The dead mayor resembles Herman Munster.
  • The bark is just bark.
  • Red Sox slugger Johnny Damon looks like Jesus.