Wednesday, April 01, 2009

A New Year Brings New Danger

Since April 1 is the first day of the vernal equinox, we at Very Little Known Facts thought it only fitting that we "spring" into the new year with some dire warnings.

  • Watch out old timer! Up to 90% of nursing home inhabitants have aids, gonorrhea, or herpes. This is due to the fact that people could not afford common antibiotics like bactine during the Great Depression.

  • If you hold your breath, no insect can sting or bite you.

  • Are you chicken? The best way to deal with a snake bite: after bitten, immediately apply a fresh chicken breast as a poultice. That is where we get the English word poultry.

  • If you survive a snake bite to the toe, the bone in your toe will eventually wither and die.

  • Even non-poisonous snakes, although they are safe, have venom that can be transmitted via a snake bite. You can tell a non-poisonous (safe) snake from a poisonous (non-safe) snake by the markings.

  • Sushi anyone? Due to the global recession, shark attacks are down worldwide. Scientists and marine biologists tell us that this could ultimately lead to starving shark populations attacking in a "feeding frenzy" of feeding.

1 comment:

Mr. Condescending said...

hey that pig picture was pretty funny!